A and B Sides

We have our first audience tomorrow night - and I'm a bit torn about it.

Side A: I think it's a great show, even an important show that lots should see and that should effect all work after it in this city (perhaps in other cities or countries this would simply be a good show, but we are not of those places) - so I want desperately for there to an audience (because if there is no audience for this, then why are we here?) - but have fears that none will materialize ("oh sorry, I really meant to come but..." and why we have pre-press in Montreal, where we bring it in to do it twice and none in Toronto where we create and premiere it?)... but doubts aside, lets call Side A: "Want lots of audience."

Side B I'll call "Scared they'll ruin it". The work we (and even more the performers) are doing is so delicate. (in the early days of our collaboration, AH and I debated the terms "frail" and "fragile" - and while we don't talk about it anymore it's still present) The systems are set but so easily swung out of balance. If the audience doesn't want to see it, it will not be there, it's really that simple ("For this to succeed on any level, you all have to be thinking the same thing at the same time") - that because of poor reception we might doubt that it is an important show.
This impulse in myself (to not show) reminds me of Grotwoski and I don't really like that. But the fear lingers.